Insert girly giggling here
10
Jan
2007
Me: I’m knitting him a scarf.
Her: Oh, it was that good, huh?
Me: Oh yeah.
Her: Wooooow.
Here in Katie’s Head
Evidence of my magicality
16
Dec
2006
I have discovered — or rather, finally noticed — a new magical mind power.
My discovery, as told by chat log:
Katie: I think I have magical powers.
Katie: When I go to a liquor store, whatever I’m there for is always on sale.
Evan: so that’s the extent of your magical powers?
Katie: That I can think of at the moment.
Katie: But it’s uncanny!
Evan: haha
Katie: If I want raspberry vodka, it’s on sale. If I want Boulevard Wheat, it’s on sale. If I want Stone Cellars Chardonnay to be on sale for $6, IT HAPPENS.
Evan: wow
Katie: I even willed the price.
Evan: you’ll have to see if that works in vegas if you decide to get something to drink
Evan: (we have alcohol in the house, but I’m not sure if its what you’d want to drink
Katie: Then I decided I wanted Boulevard Wheat too, but when I turned around it wasn’t on sale, so I think I have to plan ahead more than 10 seconds.
Katie: Yeah, we should totally test the limits of my awesome powers.
I’ve been reflecting on my grocery shopping habits, and there aren’t any prices at Dillons that I can control with my mind — I try to put Diet Coke back on sale for 4/$10, but prices continue to climb — so I think my power is limited to alcohol. I can live with that.
So I’m going to Vegas in three weeks so see if my powers are geographically limited.
Okay, that’s not why, but it’s on the agenda.
Quotable
21
Nov
2006
In high school, I had a favorite history teacher who we could provoke into saying some rather outrageous things. More than once, she threatened to kill one of my co-conspirators. I started writing down her best threats as a record of what bored, mischievous students can do to a well-meaning educator. I still have the quote list, although I’ve forgotten the context for many of the oddest quotes.
On this blog, I’ve posted a fair number of im conversation quotes, mostly in the first couple of years.
In college, we kept a quote book at the front desk of my scholarship hall. I know I make several appearances, some of them more hilarious than others.
Sometimes people say things that are just so crazy that you feel compelled to write them down.
Like today at work, when a certain enterprise writer made a reference to Global Orgasm and a certain coworker who was not there to blush.
Because something so stunningly inappropriate should not be forgotten.
Halloween costumes and visual puns
15
Oct
2006
From last night’s chat transcripts:
S: I got mine all fixed today….I’m going as Scully from the X-Files, because I figure I should make use of this red hair while I’ve got it
K: lol
K: The last time I dressed up for Halloween, I was Scully.
S: no kidding?
K: That was about a decade ago, though. lol
S: haha
S: nobody’s going to get it now, but that’s ok
S: there are a couple of other people in Sellards who are just as obsessed with the show and are going as aliens
K: SWEET
S: now, if I could just convince a guy to go as Mulder, it would be fantastic
S: that sucks that you don’t have any good costume ideas
S: I’ve heard a couple of interesting ones
K: I’m bad at costumes.
S: someone suggested dressing up in Renaissance gear and singing (like a Minstrel) and riding a bicycle around…do you get the pun?
S: it’s horrible
K: OH GOD
S: hahhahahaha
S: there’s also the blind date idea
S: pin a calendar date to yourself and walk around with sunglasses and a cane
Her suggestions are hard to top, but I’m still looking for ideas.
I don’t fridge my pizza.
29
Sep
2004
Overheard in Quinton’s car:
“Who needs fridges when you’re as cool as I am?”
He is very good at filtering out my arrogance.
Mmm, drugs.
17
May
2004
So Lisa and I are at her bank, where she is depositing a check I wrote her. I have a nasty habit of abusing the memo field on my checks, especially when writing them to poor, innocent Lisa. Last time I wrote “sexual favors,” this time “DRUGS.”
As the teller–who, for the record, was a very attractive and undoubtedly charming young man–is punching Lisa’s account number into his keyboard, I say to Lisa, “I wonder what the most outrageous thing they’ve ever seen on a memo field was?”
Lisa: “I don’t know, Katie. I’m worried people are actually going to think I sell drugs.”
Katie: “Okay, first of all, when you buy drugs, you don’t pay by check. You pay by cash so they can’t trace it. I mean, not that I know, but this is what I’ve been told.”
Attractive Teller: (grinning at me) “You’re just digging yourself in deeper.”
Katie: (grins back) “But if you DID pay with a check, you wouldn’t write ‘drugs,’ you’d write something totally innocent.”
Lisa: “Like what?”
Katie: “Like ‘groceries.’”
Lisa: “Oh, okay. Awesome!”
Teller: (handing Lisa her receipt) “There you go. Have a nice day.” (turning to me) “And you enjoy your drugs.”
Katie: “Oh, I will.”
Sadly, I still didn’t get my original question answered.
omg lamer
10
Apr
2004
This is what I do on a Saturday night:
[23:42] Vince: I’m just wondering how you go from talking to macs to talking about VD
[23:42] Vince: about*
[23:42] katie: I just…like talking about VD?
[23:43] Vince: o.O
[23:43] Vince: good
[23:43] Vince: you won’t end up like the people in the commercials
[23:43] Vince: >.<
[23:43] katie: What people? The ones with Macs or herpes?
Note to self: No more sugar.
