A haiku of a cut
25
Nov
2007
This shirt is the most fitting gift I have ever received. Thanks, sweetheart.
Here in Katie’s Head
Nailicious: week one
15
Nov
2007
I’ve reached the one week mark on my new nailbiting-free lifestyle.
The first time I chomped down on my little baby nails, I was five. I remember thinking that it made a wonderful replacement for thumb sucking as my default oral fixation outlet.
Nineteen years have passed, and the office keeps me stocked with a supply of pens to chew on, so who needs fingernails? And if I feel like chewing on something that’s actually made to be chewed, I’ve got a nice array of vending machine options.
(Actually, I’ve tried — with passable success — to sub in a compulsive water-drinking habit. Drinking lots of water is much healthier than my other options.)
So yeah, a week now. That’s pretty good. I think I could have made it thus far on my own.
But the fact that the boyfriend thinks my painted nails are “kinda hot”? Just the motivation I need to keep this up.
Nailicious
10
Nov
2007
I gave myself a manicure today. The idea is that maybe it’ll temporarily curb my 19-year nailbiting problem.
I’ve tried this strategy over and over. The last time was in January (when I appeared as a hand model on the front page of the Eagle). It never works.
But it’s cold/flu season and my secret spy tells me there’s a second case of serious e. coli in town. So maybe if I can keep my fingers out of my mouth, it’ll save me some misery.
Slight modification to the nailpolish strategy: I’m thinking about actually spending the (small amount of) money for a…uh…cuticle terrorizing kit? I have no idea what sort of gear serious nail polishers use, but maybe if I track it down and gear up, I can keep my fingers so pretty that I can’t bear to chomp on them.
I bet I crack and end up nailless by Wednesday. This is going to go about as well as my countless attempts to kick the caffeine habit.
I have simple needs
05
Nov
2007
Dear clothing retailers,
All I wanted was crew-necked, cable-knit sweater. I’m not terribly picky about the color, but I’m aiming for a light neutral, or maybe a golden yellow. I’m not picky about the cables, as long as they’re not too elaborate. I might even accept a v-neck, although I’m finding the trendy, deep all-the-way-down-to-my-navel v to be terribly unflattering. And shawl-neck sweaters? Who made this crap up? I just want an incredibly generic sweater.
WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE THESE IN YOUR STORES? WHY IS A VERY BASIC WINTER STAPLE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND?
I am willing to settle and I am easily parted from my money. Seriously, it is not that hard to get me to hand over my credit card.
I JUST WANT A FUNCTIONAL SWEATER. THE LACK THEREOF IS MAKING ME A CRANKY CONSUMER. MOSTLY BECAUSE IT IS COLD OUTSIDE AND I DON’T HAVE THE SWEATER I INTENDED TO BE WEARING BY NOW.
Now I’m going to have to turn into my mom and start buying all this stuff from Lands End. I am to young to accept that fate. Please, please, retailers, come through for me.
Shiveringly yours,
Katie
Three recent beauty/fashion-related discoveries
01
Nov
2007
- Rimmel London is the ten-cent whore of makeup brands. It doesn’t matter what shade you buy, you’ll look whorey. Just pay the extra buck for CoverGirl already.
- When I wear the Very Tall Heels, elevating me from travel size to normal size, I feel like I’m getting a forbidden peek into how other people experience the world. Being a man for a day couldn’t be stranger than this.
- After rearranging my closet last weekend, it appears that the majority of my sweaters are green. Looking back, green has always been overrepresented in my closet. And then I went shopping Tuesday and bought a green shirt (new shade, though!). Maybe hypnotherapy is the answer.
Pretty much the best thing that can happen to a woman
11
Aug
2007
Oh, I forgot the most exciting (for me) part of the Target adventure.
My mission was to buy some new pants. My old pants, the pants I bought over the last couple of years when I was forced to accept my size-10-ness, were too big. Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy wearing saggy pants to work — you know, bringing a street influence to office wear.
Maybe this is a good place for a random rant. Since, oh, high school, all the pants I’ve had to pick from in stores have been low-waisted. I’ve gotten used to this. And now that (a) higher (more normal) waists have come back into style and (b) I’ve started shopping more at Real Grown Up stores, I have acquired some pants that confuse the hell out of me. Why do they come up to my natural waist? This means the pockets are hidden waaaay up under my dress shirt, so it looks like I’m trying to feel myself up when I reach for something in my pocket. I don’t want to have to keep buying cheap shit from the juniors section for the rest of my life, but I can’t handle womens section pants.
Anyway. I am at Target. I grab a couple pairs of size 8s and head to the dressing room.
The first pair is, ugh, the pockets are all wrong. The fabric is too thin. It hangs badly. Screw these pants.
The second pair I like. Wait, no. Are these 10s? No, they’re 8s. Why are they so big? I hold out the waist band away from my body. I’m thinking, “I could get fat again and these would still fit. AWESOME.” Because my brain has long since forgotten that size 6 exists. The last time I bought something with a number that small, I was still in high school.
And of course all women know how inconsistent sizes are these days. So while half the reason I walked out of Target with a size 6 pair of striped gray capris is that I’ve lost a little over twenty pounds, the other half is size inflation and lack of standard sizing.
But that truth did not stop me from prancing around my apartment in my size 6 pants with a stupid smile for a good hour today.
I can honestly say that I saw this coming
23
Apr
2007
j.d. has written about how his readership is generally more liberal than he is. Apparently he thinks we’re reading because of all his political posts. Ha! I’m in it for the hat.
