This afternoon, there was a mass murder in my bathroom
Thursday, there were two ants.
Friday, there were seven. I smashed the first four, then saw two more walk across the spot where I’d just smashed two of their buddies. They must have smelled the blood, because they turned and ran. Not fast enough, mwah ha ha.
Today, I called my mom, knowing they tend to get ants in their kitchen every spring and she probably has good advice on how to get rid of them. She said, “mint oil,” and loaned me her can of Victor Posion-Free Ant & Roach Killer (4.0% mint oil, get it at the hardware store).
And then I came home and found two ants heading straight for my toothbrush and oh, it is so ON. And just like the can says, mint oil kills in seconds. I killed ants on the wall, on the window sill, above the sink, in the bathtub, and then I sprayed everywhere else because those little fuckers can’t get away with invading my fortress of solitude, my beloved bathroom sanctuary. Then I went outside and sprayed around the window where they came in.
I tried warning them. “There’s no food in here,” I said, “and there’s not even any food in the kitchen. Go back outside. If you stay here, I will smash you. And if you keep coming back, I will spray you with the first spray can I can find. It might be insecticide, or it might be mouse or Oust, but you’re not going to like it either way.”
Ants do not listen to reason. So now my bathroom smells minty fresh.
Just now, about eight hours after the initial slaughter, I saw another pair of ants wandering around the bathroom wall, but before I could reach for the spray can, I saw them freeze up and go into their death throes.
Mint oil rocks.
Mint oil huh?
It is that time of year, or so I’m learning. Last week I sprayed 3 gallons of industrial bug killer/repellent in a ring around my entire house, creating a nice 2-foot wide DMZ that is supposed to last for 4 months.
The bugs will live on their side, I’ll live on mine and never the two shall meet…I hope.
Comment by Kyle — 4/1/2007 @ 12:28 am