A sweatshirt that says “Dracula” is not a costume
Some trick-or-treaters are cute.
But most of them are little bastards who just hold out their bags and wait for you to give them candy. No “trick-or-treat” and certainly no “thank you.”
The little kids get a pass on this one. They’re shy and inexperienced, and for that, they get extra candy.
But the little bastards with NO COSTUMES, well, I wish them upset stomachs and many, many cavities.
In other news, a guy from work lives down the street from me, which I discovered when I was giving his daughter (who is not a little bastard) a handful of candy and heard him say, “Katie?!?!? Is that you??!?” in a very “WTF?!?” tone of voice. Awesome. Eagle employees seem to live in clusters, and I think I’m in a pretty good cluster.
And the Halloween-crazed neighbors across the street? I put their address on the newspaper’s list of best-decorated houses (don’t ask how I ended up in charge of that), and they were totally pumped to have achieved that very small degree of celebrity. Their display actually turned out to be quite impressive. I have now changed my mental categorization for them from “questionable/weird” to “intriguing/weird” (which is, I suppose, a compliment because most of the people I date come from the “intriguing/weird” category).
Also, someone needs to take the leftover candy away from me. Please. Seriously, please.
