So now my one reliable source of blog fodder has dried up: Joaquin is moving to Colorado.
But he does want to have a garage sale before he goes, so maybe something crazy will happen with that.
Fantastic.
In the past week, I have become obsessed with the idea of buying a house.
It seems like the next step in adulthood, right?
Well, there’s always getting married, but we can take care of that when we’re in Vegas in a couple months. (Right?)
Mom pointed out that first I need to save up enough for the down payment. This didn’t really appeal to me, so I checked out the city’s first-time homeowner program, which gets you out of the down payment. It turns out that I’d have to pick a house in a shitty neighborhood (you know, anything that wasn’t built in the last ten years) AND I’d have to buy the house before I get any raises at work because I’m not far from the maximum income.
So I guess I have to stop spending all my money on stupid shit and start putting it in a savings account.
Or win the lottery. That’s always Plan A. Powerball’s at $75 million right now, and I supposed I could get a livable house with that.
Actually, I’ve had my dream house picked out since 6th grade. It’s been sold twice since then. I’m guessing it’s about a quarter million, maybe more. I have no idea how many bedrooms it has or what kind of condition it’s in on the inside.
There are at least a couple houses in my neighborhood for sale now. One’s right behind us, and they’re asking $190k. Another’s a couple blocks east and they’re asking $125k. I’m going to have to do a lot of saving if I want to stick around the area.
So Joaquin, my crazy neighbor, decided that he wants to go to Iraq because he can get paid $7k a month to work there. Apparently $7k is enough to sacrifice personal safety.
The problem is that Halliburton requires you to apply online right now, and Joaquin hasn’t seen a computer in about a decade.
Against my better judgement, I have loaned him the spare laptop so that he can type up a resume and upload it to the Halliburton job site. He refused to believe that laptops are sophisticated enough to run Microsoft Word and have hard drives. But then I opened up Microsoft Word and showed him how to save a document to the hard drive.
“OH! It’s just like a real computer.”
“It is a real computer.”
“NO WAY!”
He said he’d bang on the wall four times if he needs me to come over and show him how to do something. And that he’d be done sometime tomorrow.
I hope he doesn’t use the laptop to look at porn all night.
Oh man. This was a bad idea.
I’ve been thinking that
it would be way awesome if
Al Gore was my dad
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