Sell me something
If any of you ever decide to make and sell anything, advertise it to me.
I am a sucker. I take TV ads very personally. When the girl on my screen tells her roommate to eat some Activia so she can be “regular” again after midterms, I fall for it.
“Midterms were last week! And they did mess up my Holy Poop Schedule! Surely this commercial was made just for me! I will buy lots and lots of Activia! Thanks, Dannon!”
And it was on sale at the grocery store, too. Clearly, Activia and I are meant to be.
Over in the cereal aisle, I spent far too long contemplating the various Raisin Brans. Because “Raisin Bran” isn’t trademarkable, every cereal company has its own Raisin Bran.
One promised me two whole scoops of raisins, but another promised that I would lose 10 pounds. I didn’t read the fine print, but losing 10 pounds by eating some cereal sounds pretty awesome to me.
Then I got a new Britta pitcher (at first, I was just going to get a new filter cartridge) because it was fancier than my old one — higher capacity, more narrow and a digital display to tell me when to change the filter.
So I’m now on day two of my Activia-enhanced life, and I’ve had a bowl of Raisin Bran. The peach flavored Activia is a little weird. It must be the magic bacteria. My Raisin Bran doesn’t seem to have as many raisins as the two-scoops brand. And I spilled water all over the place with my stupid new pitcher. I’ve been suckered again.
Oh, and that Diet Coke I keep saying I’ll quit drinking soon? Dillons raised the price of 12-packs, so I was prepared to finally quit. But the Walgreens down the street was selling 4 12-packs for $10. How could I turn that down?
Put up a sign, broadcast an ad, send me a flyer in the mail. I am a sucker and I will buy anything.
I have a real estate opportunity for you…
In the year 2150 there will be no less than 12 colonies on the moon and those colonies will have to be on land owned by someone. I want that someone to be you. Think about it, a nominal investment now for a few thousand acres and in just a few short decades you’ll have nice lease contracts with litterally tens of colonists.
If you’re interested please do call my office.
Comment by Evan — 3/28/2006 @ 1:52 am
If all this healthy food can keep me alive until 2150, I am so in.
Comment by Katie — 3/28/2006 @ 8:14 am
You don’t need to be alive, in the event of your death your children can inherit the property and all the potential wealth that comes with it. Think of this as an investment in your children’s, or even grand children’s future.
Comment by Evan — 3/29/2006 @ 1:00 am