Picky, picky, picky.
Alright, let’s be honest. I’m incredibly picky about food.
I keep everything segregated: no touching, no mixing. I don’t really like red meat all that much. I hate onions. I like things that only require microwaving, but I’m entirely random about what’s “too processed for me.” The rules go on and on.
But I’m getting desperate, this last week in the house. We need to eat up all the scary old crap in the freezer so we don’t have to throw it out because…well, a summer of financial independence (uh, mostly) has taught us the value of frozen food.
Reaching deep into the freezer, behind all the million kinds of frozen chicken my roommate has accumulated over the last several months, I felt something individually wrapped. I pulled it out to find what resembled a Hot Pocket, but longer, thinner, labelless, and more sinister looking.
So I nuked it.
Lesson learned: never, ever, ever, ever, ever nuke something when you can’t really tell what it is. And if you do, and it actually looks worse heated up, for god’s sake, don’t take a bite of it.
It was, as best I can tell, not frozen chicken. But that’s all I’ve eliminated.
I’ve found that wrapping bacon around mystery food items can alleviate a lot of my fears. Of course, with that whole “red meat” thing it might not work after all. “Red Meat”, by the way, is one helluva cartoon.
Comment by Chest Rockwell — 7/27/2004 @ 9:52 pm
Bacon isn’t red meat, it’s bacon and it’s lovely.
But not even bacon could have saved that kind of nastiness.
And I’d agree with you about Red Meat.
Comment by Katie — 7/28/2004 @ 1:31 am
Sounds like a B Sci-Fi movie in the works.
It Came
From The Freezer
How ’bout it, Katie? I’ll catapult you to stardom.
But you have to survive whatever it is you took a bite of. Are you feeling okay? Can I get you anything?
Comment by Raymond — 7/28/2004 @ 2:06 am
oh dear! ;p katie, you write the funniest entries! least you survived the food! ;)
Comment by mae — 7/30/2004 @ 9:54 am