Ass Pain
Yesterday, my mother and sisters came home from the DAV with an exercise bike.
I found myself bored and decided, “Hey, I’ve never really worked out before. Why not try it?” and set a goal of riding for 20 minutes. Just 1/3 of an hour. How bad can that be?
So I sat down and immediately noticed that the seat is not at all comfortable. Quite sharp, actually. But for some STUPID reason I kept going.
After two minutes, the arthritis in my knees was getting sharper and I wanted to quit because it was boring and it seemed like I’d been going for a lot longer than two minutes.
After three minutes, I was looking at my watch every 10 seconds, but still going, trying to be cheerful about it.
After ten minutes, I was getting sweaty. I’m not too keen on sweat. That why I hate summer.
After thirteen minutes, my legs hurt and I wanted to quit.
After fifteen minutes, I was getting tired and I really wanted to quit.
After eighteen minutes, I was sure I was going to just pass out and fall off the bike, but decided that was just one of my overly dramatic delusions, so I kept going. Oh, and I sped up. Like that would make time pass quicker or something. Ha!
And at twenty minutes, I quit, precisely on the second. Caroline gave me a high five and I stumbled over to my desk.
Later that night, I found that my leg muscles were being retarded and making it challenging to maintain my balance while walking down the stairs. Very amusing.
And this morning I woke up and GODDAMN MY ASS HURTS! That stupid pointy seat’s pointy fucking ridges have bruised my poor little butt.
So I bitched and moaned all day, as that is my most special talent.
Okay, half of the bitching and moaning was because my arthritis is mysteriously acting up. Mom’s is too, so I can’t blame it on that stupid bike.
My point: Exercise is stupid. No, that’s not entirely true. Katie trying to exercise is incredibly stupid. I like my body fat and puny muscles. I don’t know what came over me yesterday.
Although if I get bored tomorrow, I suspect I’ll do it all over again.
How about dropping back to 10 minutes?
You’ve shown you can “go the distance.” Try going half the distance and see if you feel better the next day.
Comment by Raymond — 5/27/2003 @ 2:37 am
No real sense of accomplishment after only 10.
Comment by Katie — 5/27/2003 @ 2:40 am
Then how ’bout a little dab of Tiger Balm?
Comment by Raymond — 5/27/2003 @ 3:34 am
Yeah, exersizing does suck. As far as the pointy seat, maybe thats why it was in the DAV? You could always duck tape a small pillow to it.
Comment by Nicole — 5/27/2003 @ 5:33 am
I biked to school this morning. It took me 35 minutes. Now I’m sitting in the library and dreading biking back… :-(
Comment by Floh — 5/27/2003 @ 5:38 am
Katie, I just wanted to say editorially that you rock.
Endorphin rushes are the greatest thing, ain’t they?
Hot baths tend to be a good thing. :-D
If treatment strategies for RA are anything similar to treatment strategies for your affliction, I can ask around today for ideas. If your response to that is “hell yes” let me know via e-mail.
Comment by ben — 5/27/2003 @ 11:31 am
i walked for 10 minutes up a hill yesterday instead of catching a bus.
= athsma attack, my legs are fucking sore, as is where my legs join on to my bum, and my throat still hurts from breathing so hard
= i totally agree with you. exercise is stupid
Comment by carly — 5/27/2003 @ 9:13 pm
Puny muscles are okay, you can always hire muscles.
But you did it, huh, on a whim? Now that’s the neat part. Also, I think you’re missing the point - the day after, don’t focus on the soreness, focus on the strange feeling of being unable to walk! It’s like being trashed… without… being… trashed.
Or not.
Well, at least you know not to ride on ribbed bike seats. Even if it is for her pleasure.
Have you tried rollerblading? Low impact? Works out your butt better, anyway…
Comment by Masochist — 5/29/2003 @ 10:01 pm
I jogged for 30 minutes and never left my driveway
Comment by net flix — 6/4/2003 @ 12:08 am