At the AIDS benefit, I watch in horror as emcee drops the keys to the truck that was raffled off DOWN HER SHIRT and says that the man who won has to get them out for himself. When no one there claimed the winning ticket, she acted dissapointed, then said, “Just kidding, I have a husband! snort!” Jesus Christ.
Sex ed is great. Caroline didn’t know what a condom looks like, so mom ran into her room and grabbed a handful of them (why she has them I do not know, Dad had a vasectomy a decade ago), tears one open and unrolls it, much to Caroline’s disgust.
I remember I looked him in the eye one afternoon and asked, “Why are things the way they are between us?” He didn’t say a word, but I knew exactly what he meant. Things were complicated because we all wanted more than we could have. And I haven’t seen him in months. He’s still on my buddy list, but I don’t dare IM him.
I can’t write lately. The depression isn’t deep enough, at least not steadily. When I was still in it, but not so deep, I could write. I wrote beautiful things. I wrote often. And I enjoyed it. Now writing is painful. It’s not productive anymore. I delete more than I add. And I hate what I write. I write CRAP. That’s why I don’t pursue a solution to my current roller-coaster depression. I want that inspiring force back. I need to feel that beautiful pain.
It’s humid now, Wet, but still not raining. It only reminds me of him. I don’t see how Anyone is gaining From the time that we waste
Sr. Shelly: Kevin, que hizo Katie la semana pesada?
Kevin: Rorik
Katie: Bastard.
diskgolfr2: wait…don’t change the subject
diskgolfr2: we were talking about my ass
katieinshoes: Oh. It’s nice.
diskgolfr2: yours is too
katieinshoes: Thank you.
I’ve been thinking that
it would be way awesome if
Al Gore was my dad
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